This woman. Forever and ever she’ll be with me. She always understood and accepted me. She’d lived a life and been through some stuff. More than any of us will know. She wasn’t prone to philosophizing like I am, but she listened and was a nonjudgmental ear, which is what I needed anyway. I miss her a lot. Desperately sometimes.
I’ve always been a sensitive girl and affected by life’s ups and downs - she showed me that you can keep it moving too - just decide to be happy, wear all the jewelry, be independent, travel, stay close to your people, laugh at absurdity, keep a young heart, have candy in the house, enjoy a well-made cocktail, love old movies, Clark Gable/Frank Sinatra.
Her giant purse. I have inherited her giant purse tendencies.
Coffee and red lipstick.
She just did her thing. She chose to be in humor. She chose her life.
When she faltered and became more vulnerable than we knew, she kept on doing her thing, always. She was stubborn and cranky and didn’t want to give up cigarettes. A product of her time.
Impossible to encapsulate all the many ways in which I loved her, but the letter with words I slipped beside her before she was lowered in the ground, so many years ago - I hope I was able to touch a fraction of the feeling.
I came in through the ether to know her. And someday, many many many many years from now, I hope to hold her again in the numinous.
Love you gram cracker- your “little star”
