All I can do is hug
Hello sweet sensitives...a little insight into how I regulate when spiraling mind becomes too much.🥀 If my work means something to you, consider becoming a paid subscriber.🌷Stay gold, Kimberly
In times of deep discontent, all I can do is hug myself.
With America as it is right now, with military raining down on LA, women’s rights being abolished, people being disappeared…I sense a feeling that I’ve never known.
I’m afraid of my own country, my government.
I’m not trying to say that America was without flaws. It has tragic and painful ones that have been embedded in its DNA since the Dutch landed, and I’m sure even before that.
But now, when people are throwing around fascism and dictatorship, and our own President is telling the press they can’t speak or be present and threatening elected officials with arrest simply because they aren’t bending to his will, I feel like I am only a brain and without a body.
I feel like I’m a walking hologram.
I try to remember that I am a physical being because if I don’t, my brain will continue to spiral, and the sadness and devastation will overtake me.
So, I hug myself and rock. Or I will tap my shoulders with my crossed arms. Or hold my face, my hands. Sometimes I’ll lie on the floor with my hands on my belly and feel my breath go up and down.
We forget that we are human. I truly believe that if we reminded ourselves regularly that we are flesh and blood and those who walk among us are as well, there would be greater understanding and empathy for what all of us are going through, which are souls having a physical experience on this planet.
I cannot let myself become a head with no torso, limbs, or feet. I must keep coming back to my bones that are wrapped with my unique skin. The DNA of which comes from immigrants who arrived on this land. Perhaps with hopeful hearts. Perhaps numb with fear.
I think about how unfair all this is. All the “if only” thoughts run round and round in my spirit, making me furious about the situation of our country and how it could have been avoided.
But here we are. This lesson is what we are destined to go through.
I must keep holding my heart, which beats again and again and again.